ForFun&Giggles: WWE Random
by Terrahfry
Summary: Slash- M/M, Matt/Jay, Jeff/Adam, Miz/Jeri. Jay has no one to room w/, so he rooms w/ Matt. Perversions ensue.. Crude humor, random stupidity, situations. AU, OOC ensues. Just for fun & giggles! Hardys, E&C, JeriMiz.
1. Just Like Old Times

**Okay, I was attacked by my Matt and Christian muses the other morning with this bunch'a nonsense (that was gunna go in 'BubbleGumSweetShit' b/c it was justa supposed to be a one shot w/ pieces inspired by something Matt said on Twitter) and it just decided to go every which way it wanted and basically wrote itself. It's just more silliness and stupid humor. I decided not to put it in 'BGSS' b/c it kept going and has another chapter. Didn't think it'd hurt to give its own spot (shrugs) Matt/Jay, Jeff/Adam, Miz/Jeri, mentions of Randy/Mor/Punk, Miz/Mor, Cena/Evan, Jeri/Evan, Jay/Jeri/Matt, Miz/Mor/Jeri. Language, childishness, slashy situations, crude humor, a tiny mention of Hardycest. AU, OOC. Just for FUN! XD! Jay has no one to room w/, so he rooms w/ Matt. Perversions ensue.. Hardys, E&C, JeriMiz.**

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ForShits&Giggles: WWE Random;  
Chapter one/ 'Just Like Old Times'  
Rated; M-ish/ L, (sexual situations, horndogs galore!)**

Matt: (walking thru backstage area) Hey, Jay-Jay!

Jay: (talking on phone) Hey, Matt. Just a sec.. (into phone) Oh, come on. Not you too, Chris! But I.. No.. I'm not gonna.. Don't you hang up on me..! (looks down at phone) Why that rat bastard!

Matt: Hang up?

Jay: (slams cell phone shut) Dammut! First Adam left me for Jeff. And now Chris left me for Miz. Now who'm gonna room with?

Matt: You can room with me. Jeff left me for Adam. It'll be just like old times.

Jay: Except without all the hard liquor and gratuitous nudity.

Matt: (shrugs) Eh, night's still young.

_(-Laters in hotel room-)_

Matt: Call Adam up, see what he's doing.

Jay: Okay. (calls Addy up) Hey, Addy, what'cha doing? (listens.. turns to Matt) Your brother.

Matt: What? (grabs phone) Gimme. (holds phone to ear) Adam Joesph Copeland.. Oh, hi, Jeffro..

Jeff: (giggles on otherline) Actually, I'm doing Addy. You should see how hott he looks on his knees with his hair being pulled..

Matt: (rolls eyes) Okay, Jeff. Spare me details.

Jeff: Awe, what's a matter, Matty? Not getting any? Why'cha ask Christylicious to suck on your cock like a gewd boy? (more purred giggling) Yum-yums..

Matt: (flushing wildly) Jeff!

Jeff: (giggles louder) Y'know you want to. I bet he wants to. Make him all nice an' hard for your sweet little ass..

Matt: (clears throat and swallows) For one, you're drunk, horny and being stupid.

Jeff: Meh!

Matt: Two, I'm not a bottom.

Jay: (perks up with sudden interest)

Matt: Three..

Jeff: (giggles) Quit it, Addy.. Hey, mister, I didn't say you could move. Back on all fours! And quit wiggling your ass like that, it's giving me needs!

Adam: (in background) Uhmmm.. That's the idea.. Come on, Jeffy. Get off the phone and come play with me! I'll let you lick champagne off my naked body.

Matt: (rubbing head.. the one on his shoulders, pervs. Not the one below the belt.. no matter how much li'l Matty's a straining) Like I said, drunk and horny. Anyway, it's none of your business, Jeff. Just like what you're doing is none of mine. So have fun and here's Jay. (hands Jay back the phone)

Jay: (takes phone and holds it to ear) Yeah, hello, Jeffers. (makes shocked face) You're doing what to my Addy?

Jeff: Mah Addy, Jay-Jay.

Jay: He's my Addy too. (pouts and sniffles)

Jeff: Fine. My and your Addy. Anyway, Imma'bout to lick champagne off his naughty parts. Matt's smexually frustrated again.. Why don'tcha help him out?

Jay: Jeff! (flushes)

Jeff: (giggles madly) Bye-bye, Jay-Jay. (dial tone)

Matt: (shakes head) He's a character.

Jay: Oh, yeah. Umm..? Why is Jeff here anyways?

Matt: (shrugs) Writer wanted him in here.

Jay: Oh... (confused) Uh.. what..? (phone rings.. answers) Hello?

Chris: Jason, where did you go, Junior? I've looked this lobby stupid.

Jay: M'with Matty.

Chris: Ugh! You asshole! Why'd you leave me?

Jay: You were all over Miz! And when I called, you hung up because Miz was all over you! I thought you two could use some private time.

Chris: Well, we had our private time and now my room mate bailed on me.

Jay: (muttering) Gee, you're a fucking minute man..

Chris: What?

Jay: Nothing. Why can't you stay with Mike tonight? Y'know, sleep in the same bed without humping like bunnies and just cuddle?

Chris: (sighs) Mike steals the covers.

Mike: (in background) Oh, I DO NOT, Chris! You're the one WHO hogs the covers, you lying little..

Jay: (puts phone on speaker and holds it out for Matt to hear too)

Chris: I wouldn't finish that if I were you, Mizerella.

Mike: Y'know what, Chris? You're nothing but a drama queen. I don't know why I put up with you.

Jay: Cuz ya likes the way he sucks ya off :P

Chris: Jay!

Matt: Oh, now you just sound like Jeff.

Jay: He teaches me well. (grins)

Matt: Apparently too well.

Mike: Oh, you like sucking my..

Matt: (holding ears) Why do I always hafta hear this?

Jay: Now you sound like HBK.

Mike: Oh, what are you, Hardy? CM Punk!

Matt: Oh, don't even go there, girlfriend. (snaps fingers all diva like)

Jay: No. You're not a bottom- hint sarcasm.

Matt: (opens mouth to speak, closes it, opens it again, stammers) Shut up.

Jay: Good come-back. (smirks)

Matt: (does that glare thing he's so awesome at)

Mike: Speaking of, have you seen JoMo?

Matt: I thought you two were still broke up?

Mike: We are.

Chris: Mizzie here's just a two-timing little cockslut.

Mike: I am not! You knew me and John were still friends. We called it off mutually and we still get along and hang out. Does all exes hafta be bitter enemies? You, Matt and Jay are all still butt-buddies.

Chris: We had a threesome one time, years ago. When we were drunk! That's all it was!

Jay: You told HIM? Mike 'loud-mouth' Mizanin! Chrissy, you bitch!

Chris: It was an accident, I swear. It just came out!

Matt: Chris, stuff like that don't just come out.

Mike: It does when you're playing a naughty game of Truth or Dare and you're so worked up and horny you'll admit to _anything._ (can be heard smirking thru the phone)

Jay: Miz, you bitch!

Mike: Hey, Chris was the bitch!

Jay: Well, now you are and he upgraded to twatbag whore.

Chris: Watch it, assclown!

Mike: I got him to tell me all about how you both pounded the living daylights outta him at the same time.

Chris: Mike! Shut the hell up!

Mike: How you had him a writhing screaming mess..

Chris: Michael Mizanin! You shut up this instant, or..

Mike: Tell me, did you guys double-team Adam like that?

Matt: Why you horny bastard.

Jay: I wouldn't let Jeff catch you talking like that.

Mike: (laughing) I'm kidding. So, you seen Mor?

Matt: No.

Jay: He was with Randy and Phil earlier.

Mike: Oh, great. (sighs) I won't see him for awhile and when I do he'll be walking like a duck.

Chris: Why do you want to see him?

Mike: Well, you're bailing on me.

Chris: You just wanna fuck him. I bet you still fuck him.

Mike: Ooh, jealous much?

Chris: Well, do you?

Mike: Yes. Sometimes we still fuck. There? Happy?

Chris: Slut.

Mike: What? You've been fucking Evan.

Chris: I hafta top sometime.

Jay: S'matter, Chrissy, mean ole Mizzie won't let you top?

Chris: None of your business, Reso!

Matt: Has to be our business, Chris. You just said it out loud. Must'a wanted us to know.

Chris: (stammers) No.. I.. you.. (growls) Shut up, Hardy!

Mike: Awe, he's so cute when he blushes and pouts like that.

Chris: (huffs) I'll just stay with Evan.

Jay: Can't. Rooming with John Cena.

Chris: Oh, fuck! There goes my fuck toy!

Mike: (mockingly) Hahaha.

Chris: Fine. Since you're still fucking Morrison, I will too.

Mike: I asked you for a threesome, you refused.

Chris: Well, I changed my mind.

Jay: Ooh, that sounds hott. Can I get a copy of the video tape Hunter will make when he finds out?

Mike: Sure thing, buddy.

Chris: (squeaks) What? NO! Stay outta my sex life, Reso! You too, Hardy! (dial tone)

Matt: (blinks) Jeez, what's got his panties in a wad?

Jay: (shrugs and stretches) Must be that time of the month.

Matt: Jay-Jay, not funny.

Jay: (laughs)

_(-a little while later-)_

Jay: (On Matt's Twitter Home page.. typing)

**MATTHARDYBRAND** :PPPPPPPPPPP  
_Tuesday, June 01, 2010 sometime while Matt was in the bathroom AM via TweetDeck_

Jay: (giggles evilly and moves over to bed)

Matt: (comes back from bathroom, yawns and sits back down at table to check his Twitter) Ugh! Jay!

Jay: (cracks up as Matt types something else)

**MATTHARDYBRAND **Ok.. somebody thinks that they're funny in my room on my Twitter now..That damn Christian! Ha, sorry guys & gals!  
_Tuesday, June 01, 2010 1:08:28 AM via TweetDeck_

Matt: That wasn't funny, mister. (deletes Jay's tweet)

Jay: Awe, you're a prude.

_(-sometime even later-)_

Matt: See what you did, Jay? Now all the little fangirls think we're fucking cuz they know I'm sharing a room with you.

Jay: (gets up and goes over to Matt to see) What? Really? Ha! Holy shit, they do!

**TakersLovechild** Oh, holy fuck...Matt and Christian sharing a room! Sex is being had, I knows it!  
_12:16 AM Jun 1st via Echofon _

**CottonCandyMelt** Matt & Christian in same room? (giggles stupidly) I has dirty thoughts!  
_12:17 AM Jun 1st via web_

**SammysDemonBaby** (reads Matt's last tweet & faints) OMFG, my mind's in places now! Matt & Jay sleeping in the same room together! Slash is so happening!  
_12:19 AM Jun 1st via Echofon_

**RabidFanGirlWWE** (giggles insanely) Matt's fucking Jay! Matt's fucking Jay! Matt's fucking Jay! Matt's fucking Jay! Matt's fucking Jay! XDDDD!  
_12:24 AM Jun 1st via web_

**Terrahfry** (has obscene thoughts of Matt/Jay smexage) Dammut, Matty, you fuckalicious piece of man...XD! I'm all distracted now!  
_12:27 AM Jun 1st via web_

**CottonCandyMelt** Matt/Jay Humpage, FTFW!  
_12:30 AM Jun 1st via web_

Matt: (shakes head) Adam and Jeff..?

Jay: Fucking like bunnies.

Matt: Chris and Mike..?

Jay: Fucked each other's brains out.. or what was left..

Matt: Randy and Punk..?

Jay: Fucking the hell outta JoMo.

Matt: Cena and Evan..?

Jay: Prolly too shy and prudish to fuck.

Matt: (sighs) Anyway, out of all those people. We get picked on?

Jay: (shrugs)

Matt: (reading tweets)

**AntiDivaLicious** _at_**MATTHARDYBRAND **Woo-hoo! Go, Matty, fuck Christian till he can't fucking walk straight!  
_12:34 AM Jun 1st via Echofon_

**ButterflyHardy **_at_**MATTHARDYBRAND **yeah! pound christy thru the mattress.. save sum enery to fuck 4 ur brother jeff ;p  
_12:35 AM Jun 1st via web_

Matt: (flushes) Wow, fangirls have some demented thoughts..

Jay: (nods, biting on bottom lip) Uhm-hm.. So..? Why aren't we fucking?

Matt: (shrugs) I dunno. Get naked.

Jay: As you wish, Matty. (starts taking off clothes)

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Based on mostly true events :P The tweet before Matt's was something like that, Matt deleted it so I couldn't remember. Might'a been this character [ instead of a P tho. I came up with the names CottonCandyMelt, TakersLovechild, SammysDemonBaby, RabidFanGirlWWE, AntiDivaLicious, and ButterflyHardy for this fic. If there's anyone out there anywhere with those names, I apologize now :P I checked them and as of now they're all available on Twitter. Terrahfry's tweet was my real tweet (CottonCandyMelt's was also my real tweets, XP) MATTHARDYBRAND's was real too. All others were cumpletely faked. Sorry. That night was uberlicious fun!**

**& yes, it was supposed to be that stupid. I apologize. Okay, Jeff's in TNA in real-life, prolly not in here... or well, he was there that night for this fic anyhow.. Oh, well. That's what AU is for :P & yus, Jeff hasta be w/ Addy in this.. yet again.. I just have a hard time seeing those two w/ anyone else (shrugs) I'm stubborn!  
**


	2. Hunting Ghosties

**QueenofYourWorld, uh.. I would apologize for that, but.. Yay, I helped turn muses gay! ...Oh, I mean, terribly sorry...XD. I have a hard time believing a Adam muse shouldn't chase/want a Hardy muse of some kind.. but that's just me :P Magz86, Esha Napoleon, thank you both, XD. MagicallyMalicious, Diva Matt would be funny :P & I have no idea.. XD. JoMoFan-spot, I love being missed, XP. Matt/Jay started to click after a fic I read of them, it inspired them in 'Cotton Candy' & I've loved them ever since. They work for me b/c I always pair up Jeff and Adam. But they also work as friends too. Randy/Mor is lacking in the fic world. They would be mighty hott. I was thinking of writing something with them tho.. Morrie should be whored out :P Jeff muse is kinda okay w/ considering Adam Jay's as well.. as long as Jay doesn't hog Adam.. My Jeff was coming out more arrogant at the time. I kinda liked him that way. Thought it was hott. He was drunk, he could get away w/ it ;) My Jeri always comes out bitchy & whiny for some reason.. redsandman99, awesome, thanks :D Seraphalexiel, thank you. I think I got that Cena's a prude thing from you. He seems like he would be a bit on the prudish side ;) BellaHickenbottom, it was slash fangirl heaven that night. & no, we do not :P ilovekandix3, Adam and Jeff are lucky to have each other. & yus, Matt & Christy are very hott! (giggles insanely)**

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ForShits&Giggles: WWE Random;  
Chapter two/ 'Hunting Ghosties'  
Rated; M/ L (talk of ghost horniness, spooky stuff, ghostly hand jobs, desecration of remains, pervertedness, adult situations, slight nudity)**

_(-hott, passionate, sweaty smexilicious action later-)_

Jay: (naked, head in Matt's blanket covered lap, looking very relaxed and jaded)

Matt: (just as naked, sitting up, playing with Jay's hair as other hand is fooling with lap top that sits on the nightstand by the bed) Hey, what's this shit about Jeri looking for a ghost?

Jay: (smirks) Sheamus?

Matt: No. A monty_clift_see on Twitter. Claims to be the ghost of Montgomery Clift who died in and supposedly haunts Room 928 of the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood.

Jay: Isn't that this hotel?

Matt: Yup.

Jay: Hmm... And Chris is hunting ghosties again?

Matt: (shrugs) I guess.

Jay: Well, I hope he finds Monty and not Sheamus. (chuckles and snuggles back into Matt)

Matt: Yup. Sheamus might rape his little ass.

Jay: Ugh! No! SuperCasper can't has my Chrissy! He may be a pain in the ass, but I wuvs him!

Matt: (sighs) Sex always did make you sentimental. Fine. What'll we do?

Jay: Call the Winchesters?

Matt: Jason..? (rubs forehead tiredly) I've been over this a thousand times with Jeff, Adam and Morrison. Sam and Dean are not real. They are characters on a weekly episodic TV show that runs in seasons and ends on cliffhangers to agitate it's legion of fangirls, ergo, they do NOT exist.

Jay: But.. but.. In the show there's a prophet writing the Gospel of the Winchesters and they're supposed to be just characters in a book series in the show, but they're really real in the show.. sooo (stops and takes breath) What if it's like that in real life too and Sam and Dean are real but the show Supernatural just wants us to believe they're just characters being portrayed by actors in a show? (panting)

Matt: Then I'm sure the real Sam and Dean wouldn't be as hott in real life as Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles.

Jay: Oh, god! (tosses hands up in irritation) You're such a buzzkill!

Jeff: (comes thru door) Yes, he is. (covers eyes) William Jason Reso! Cover your shame!

Jay: (covers up) Hey, that's not shame! You wish you looked as good as me naked :P

Matt: (looks down at Jay then scans up Jeff)

Jeff: (points at Matt) Don't even say it!

Matt: (snorts)

Adam: (follows behind) Hey, Jeffy, you and all the horny internet fangirls you told me about were right, Matt and Jay were doing it!

Jeff: (pats Adam on the butt) Good boy, Addy.

Adam: (blinks)

Jeff: Now go sit down and I'll give you a treat later.

Adam: I am NOT a pet!

Jeff/Jay: Yes, you are!

Adam: (folds arms, huffs and goes to sit down in the chair by the table)

Matt: What is it, Jeff? We were kinda busy here.

Jeff: Jeri called. Something about a ghost hunt and GG.

Matt: Oh, great. He's definitely gunna get his ass ghost raped.

Adam: (looks confused) Uh.. what?

Jay: Never mind. Sure he didn't mean Sheamus?

Jeff: (Shrugs) Maybe.. (phone rings... digs it out of pocket.. answers) Hello? Chrissy? Where are you? (listens) What? Wait.. Imma put it on speaker.. (does that)

Chris: JEFFY! ZOMG! I found Mont..Monty.. we'z partying it up, son!

Mike: Dammut, Jeri! This isn't our room! We're gonna get in trouble! There's no ghost! You're drunk and I think you've finally lost it! (screams suddenly and there is a loud thunk followed by a crash and Miz groaning) Ow.. (coughs)

Chris: Mizzie! You okay? Holy shit!

Jeff: Chris, what happened?

Jay/Matt/Adam: (all lean closer)

Chris: Mike just got flung against the wall! Bad Monty! Bad! You don't toss my Mizzie like that! (gasps suddenly) Monty! Watch your tone!

Jay: Hey, Jeri, I think the ghost has a crush on you!

Mike: Chrissy.. let's just go please.. (gags) Chr's.. t'll.. y'r.. g'ost.. s'op.. chok'ng.. me.. (gasping for air)

Adam: Maybe he walked in and caught 'em fucking and he's pissed because it's his room.

Jay: Yeah, and maybe he's just horny and wants a ghostly hand job. (sticks tongue out and reaches over to Adam to do that old finger wiggle thing E&C used to do)

Matt: (rolls eyes) They're just children..

Adam: (leans toward phone and cups hands around mouth) Chris, offer to jerk off the ghost!

Jay: Yeah, and be sure you talk dirty to it!

Chris: I'm NOT jerking off a horny ghost!

Adam and Jay: (crack up laughing)

Mike: (gasps louder.. wheezing for air) Guh.. dam..mut.. Ch..ris.. some.. help you are.. (coughs) Let's get.. outta here now..

Chris: Awe, but I don't wanna!

Mike: (growls) Chris!

Matt/Jay/Adam/Jeff: (hears a loud door slam)

Chris: Uh-oh..

Matt: Chris, what's uh-oh?

Mike: Oh, fuck... (grunting) The door's locked shut! (more useless grunting) I don't think he wants us to leave! Guys! Help... (static)

Matt: (groans) Whelp, Children. Looks like we're going to save the loudmouthed Wonder Twins from a ghost.. Which is the oddest thing I've ever said..

Jay: Yeah, yeah it is.. (blinks)

Jeff: Okay, me and Addy'll be waiting in the hallway. You two get decent. (grabs Adam's arm and pulls him up)

Adam: Wait, if we're ghost hunting won't we need some supplies?

Jay: Yeah, like duct tape..?

Matt: Jason, it's a ghost.

Jay: (shrugs) So..?

Matt: The duct tape won't help.. it'd go right thru it..

Jay: Not if it's soaked in salt water.

Jeff: (facepalms) That's rope, you idiot.

Jay: (stops.. ponders..) Oh, yeah... right..

Jeff: We need a flashlight with batteries, a camera phone in case he goes invisible so we can see him, shotgun with loaded salt round thingys, salt in a can to make a circle..

Matt: Jeff.. this is NOT Supernatural!

Jeff: Well, Supernatural sez this is how you deal with ghosts.

Adam: (has hands on hips) Yeah, Matty.

Matt: Oh, lord. They listen to anything a couple of pretty boys tell them. Look, it's a TV show. It's not real.

Adam: But some of it has to be based on fact.

Jay/Jeff: (nods)

Matt: (sighs and slumps in defeat) Fine. Jeff, you and Adam go get all that stuff while we (motions between himself and Jay) get our clothes on. We'll meet you in the lobby, okay?

Jeff: (huffs) Fine. Let's go, Addy. (drags Adam out of room)

Jay: (gets up and stumbles to get dressed) Come on, Matty. We gotz a Chrissy and his pet pest to save. (nearly trips putting on jeans) Whoa.. (gets tangled up, trips, falls on butt) Umph.. Matty! The jeans hate me!

Matt: (facepalm) This is gonna be a helluva long night...

_(-a clothed Matt and Jay later, in the hotel lobby at the elevators-)_

Jay: Okay, Jeff, got the stuff?

Jeff: S'in my bag. (opens bag and shows Jay and Matt the goods)

Matt: Okay, let's get this over with. (pushes up button on elevator and they all pile in to go to the 9th floor)

Elevator: (stops to pick up someone else on the 5th floor)

Jeff: (eyes widen and screams as he sees a pasty figure standing in front of him as the doors open that's waiting to get on the elevator) Aaahh, ghost! (sprays it w/ salt water he had put in an empty hairspray bottle)

Sheamus: (yells out as the salt water burns his eyes, reaching out in front of himself and grabbing at air uselessly in defense) What the hell? M'not a ghost, Hardy!

Matt: (takes spray bottle) Jeff! Stop! It's just Sheamus!

Jeff: Umm.. (chuckles nervously) Hehe, uh.. sorry..

Sheamus: (rubbing furiously at eyes) Ugh.. fucking idiot.. (still muttering obscenities)

Jeff: (blinks and reaches over to press button to close the doors) ... (twiddling thumbs) He is kinda scary though..

Matt/Jay/Adam: (all nod in agreement)

Adam: Y'know.. this is like a horror movie situation.. and in horror movie situations never take the elevator. Always the stairs because the elevator always messes.. (stumbles as elevator creaks, groans and stops on the 7th floor)

Matt: Dammit, Adam! Why couldn't you keep that big mouth of yours shut? Jeff, gimme duct tape!

Jeff: (looks curiously at Matt) How's that gunna help. The ghost isn't here. (reaches in bag and gets tape)

Matt: (takes tape and advances toward Adam)

Adam: (gulps and backs up against wall)

_(-Adam's taped up trap later-)_

Adam: (huffs thru duct tape as Matt and Jeff use crow bar to pry doors open)

Jay: This won't work. Everytime in a horror movie situation when the elevator is stuck and someone unjams the doors to get out..

Jeff/Matt: Cram it, Jay! (glares back)

Jay: (huffs and folds arms)

Jeff: Okay, who's first?

Jay: (nervously) Hehe, ladies first.. (squeaks as both Matt and Jeff grab him and shove him thru the opening in the doors.. without incident) Phew.. (wipes brow and helps Adam get thru) Be careful..

Matt: Quiet, Jay!

Jay: (grumbles as he pulls Adam out)

Jeff: (looks at door nervously) So, who's going first..?

Matt: Oh, come on, Jeff.. Nothing is gonna happen.. You go first..

Jeff: (twisting end of t-shirt in his hands) No.. I'm good.. You can go.. you're older..

Matt: Yes, I'm older and I have to look out for my baby brother, so you go first.

Jeff: (clinches teeth) Matt? Quit being difficult.

Jay: Guys, hurry up. You're taking too long.

Matt: Fine. There's only one way this can be settled...

_(-one childish game of Rock, Paper, Scissors later-)_

Jeff: (muttering obscenities under his breath as he pops his head thru the open doors having one arm each grabbed by Jay and Adam and pulled on thru)

Matt: Be careful.

Jeff: Oh, shut up.. (gasps as his foot is caught) Help me! I'm stuck! (verge of panicking)

Matt: Just your shoe string, Jeff. It's caught under the door. Hold on. (releases Jeff's shoe string)

Jay/Adam: (pull Jeff on thru)

Jeff: (sighs relief and fixes clothes) Next time I pick paper.. he always picks rock.. Lousy Matt.. thinks he's so smart..

Matt: Okay, guys, I'm coming now..

Jay: Ahh.. again?

Adam: (sighs thru tape and reaches over to smack Jay in the back of the head)

Jay: (rubs head) Ow! Matty, Addy hit me!

Matt: (ignoring idiots.. takes a deep breath, looks up at doors and lifts himself up and over the side, slowly inching his way out) Imma kill Adam for this..

Jeff: Hurry, Matty. (grabs Matt's arm and pulls) Help us, idiots!

Adam/Jay: (grabs other arm and pulls)

Elevator: (decides to be a bastard and groan before dinging)

Matt: (eyes widen in realization) Uh-oh.. Pull me out!

Jeff/Matt/Adam: (all tug.. falling backwards, losing balance and stumbling across the hallway w/ various groans and umphs)

Elevators: (slam shut)

Jay: (lands against the wall and screams) MATTY!

Adam: (rips off duct tape) Ow, my ear! Was that necessary? (wiggling his finger in his ear as he's sitting beside Jay, Jeff laying across his lap)

Matt: What, Jay? (laying half way on Jay's lap.. perfectly fine)

Jay: (grunts) You're squishing.. me.. Can't breathe..

Matt: (insulted) Are you saying I'm fat?

Jay: (wheezes) No.. I'm saying.. guh.. your elbow is pressing down on my nuts! (gasps) Can't breathe!

Matt: (rolls his eyes and gets off Jay)

Jay: (inhales sharply before exhaling)

Matt: (jerks Jay up) Come on, Princess.

Jeff: (helping Adam to his feet) He's not the Princess, Matt. Punk is.

Matt: (sighs and shakes head) Sorry, musta slipped my mind. (looks around) Where's the bag?

Jeff/Adam/Jay: (also looks around)

Jeff: Umm.. I think I left it on the elevator.. (sheepishly) hehe..

Matt: (groans) Least we still have the cell phones. Let's go. (walks toward stairs)

Jeff: But, Matty, what about the salt and the flashlight? (follows, dragging Adam along)

Adam: My phone has a light.

Jeff: Does it have salt?

Adam: No. Jay's might.

Jay: (crosses arms and follows the rest of the gang) Haha.. Not amused..

_(-up two flights of stairs later-)_

Adam: (panting for breath as they climb the steps) Jeffy! Why'cha carry me?

Jeff: Adam, no.

Adam: Please? M'so tired.. you wore me out earlier!

Jay: Matty, carry me too!

Matt: (dryly) Blonde Canadians..

Jeff: (just as dryly) Gotta love them...

Adam: (scratching at the back of his hair) Hey!

Jay: We resent that!

Matt: (opens door) Besides, we're here anyhow.

Adam: Great, now I'm tired and I have to fight a ghost!

Jeff: (exhales)

Matt: You see what in him exactly?

Jeff: He gives great head... and the way his ass clinches after he cums.. (purred groan) Oh, mah gawd.. (shudders in delight)

Adam: (flushes) Jeffy!

Jeff: (smirks) You love me. (jerks Adam close)

Adam: (smiles down at the rainbow haired male) Yes, I do. (leans down to kiss Jeff on the lips)

Matt: (sighs and gets out water bottle he always carries before spraying Jeff and Adam with it)

Jeff/Adam: (quickly part) Hey! Meanie!

Jay: (giggling)

Matt: Knock it off, you two.

Jeff: (folds arms and pouts) Toldja he was a buzzkill.

Matt: We hafta find and save Chris and Mike from the ghost and we've already took all night.

Jay: It's prolly raped them both by now.

Adam: Nah, Chris was more its type.

Jay: Yeah, but Jeri and Miz are like the same person! They're so much a like, if the ghost wanted Jeri, then I'm sure he'd go after Miz. With two of them, he was sure to be in horny ghost heaven! (rambling as they start looking for Room 928)

Jeff: (giggles) I actually thought that while Jeri was looking for the ghost that he'd find you and Matt doing it instead.

Adam: (sighs) Jeff wanted a threesome to ensue..

Jay: What if the ghost found us?

Adam: It'd be awkward..

Jeff: Then the ghost'd get all horny and shit..

Adam: Awkward and kinky..

Jay: Ghost smex..? Eww..

Matt: Could you two shut up? We're almost there and if I hafta face an angry spirit tonight.. (pushed aside by a brown/blonde blur)

Mike: (running) Outta our way! It's behind us!

Chris: (behind Miz, running) Faster, Mizzie! (trips and falls flat of his face)

Mike: (stops and turns quickly on heel) Chris!

Chris: (reaches out to Mike dramatically) Go on without me.. you're too young to die!

Mike: (skids to a stop near Jeri, crouches down) No. I can't leave you! (pulls Jeri up to his lap and holds him as he caresses his hair)

Matt: Oh, brother. (rubs hand over face)

Jeff: (watches fearfully as the ghost of the Montgomery actor dude appears in front of them) Oh, fuck..

Jay: (squeaks and jumps in Matt's arms)

Adam: (squeaks and jumps in Jay's arms)

Matt: (struggles under weight.. knees give out and they all crumble and fall to floor with various unhappy noises)

Monty's Ghost: Jericho can't leave me... I finally have him here.. He's trapped forever.. (advancing towards Jeff, flickering in and out as he does so)

Jeff: (shakey, eyes wide in fright) Um.. g-go.. w-way.. mis..ter.. M-Monty.. ghost.. uh.. sir..

Monty's Ghost: You leave my hotel at once! (growls and leaps forward at Jeff)

Matt: (shoves Jay/Adam off and scrambles to his feet) Jeff! No! Leave him alone!

Jeff: (covers his face with a squeak and tosses a bag of salt he pulled out of his pocket at the ghost)

Matt: (tackles Jeff out of the way)

Monty's Ghost: Aagh! NOO! (screams demonically and burns out in a brilliant fiery glow)

Jay: (grumbles as he helps Adam up)

Adam: (holding his head) That only works in Scooby-Doo..

Jeff: (grunts as Matt picks him up) Why'd you tackle me?

Matt: (dusts Jeff off) Hehe, sorry..

Jay: Hey, the salt thingy worked.

Jeff: (proudly) Toldja it would.

Mike: (still holding to Chris as they sit on the floor) So, he's gone?

Chris: (holding to Mike's arm that's draped across his chest, shifting and trying to lift himself up) Monty! Noooo! He was a good ghosty, he was just misunderstood! (drops head in hands and starts sobbing dramatically)

Mike: Awe, Chrissy, it's okay. (patting Chris on the back in sympathy)

Chris: (looks up and points at Jeff) You! You killed Monty!

Jay: Dude, how can you kill a ghost?

Chris: Sent him on to the otherside then. (pouts)

Jeff: Awe, Jeri, I'm sorry. But he's in a better place now. We gave him some peace.

Adam: Wait.. in Supernatural throwing salt on a ghost don't kill them.. just makes them dematerialize for a bit then come back later.

Jay: But you saw what happened, Addy. The ghost went up in a blaze of fire. It's crossovered now.

Matt: Huh..? So if Jeff's salt didn't kill it.. what did?

_(-in some graveyard somewhere in Brooklyn, New York-)_

Sam Winchester: Are you sure this had to be done, Dean?

Dean Winchester: (standing by a tombstone, illuminated by the glow of the fire from down inside the grave) He was a ghost, Sam.

Sam: He didn't seem like such a bad ghost.

Dean: (eyes his brother conspicuously) He was terrorizing people at that hotel, Sammy.. and keeping them awake all night while he had kinky ghostly sex with his other ghostly cohorts.

Sam: You're just mad because when we were there, he grabbed your butt and you're too proud to admit that you felt violated.

Dean: I'm not to proud to admit it. (muttering) Damn thing gave me the heebie jeebies.

Sam: Then admit it. Aloud.

Dean: Fine, prissy pants. (looks down) The ghost violated me.

Sam: (laughs) Poor you.

Dean: Oh, laugh it up, clown-boy. Fact is, that pervy ghost had to be stopped before he raped someone.

Sam: You mean you?

Dean: Shuddup.. Besides, no ghost feels up Dean Winchester and gets away with it.

Sam: (shakes head) Whatever you say, Dean. Whatever you say.

**

* * *

Yes, I put them all in same hotel. I don't know or care if they were, but I dids it anyway. R.I.P., Monty's Ghost. Damn those smexy Winchesters! XD! monty_clift_see is a real Twitter page and is actually amusing as hell. Also on June 1st an odd convo was had on Twitter about Jeri trying to find the ghost and instead finding Matt and Jay fucking, a 3some happening & the ghost interrupting it & getting horny. It was wonderfully strange & I was too fucked up on slashiness and Jensen Ackles movies to care how odd it could ever sound. This little piece was inspired by it and it just wouldn't stop writing itself. I apologize. Blame my Christian and Matt muses. & yes, we meant all this to be as stupid as it is :P I don't think it was as funny as the last chap.. but oh, well... XD. Also, sorry I didn't write the sex scene. But it's kinda hard to write them in this style.. This may be just a two shot... least for now.. Actually, I dunno if it'll have more. Maybe if the muses attack me or throw another idea brick at me. Either way, it prolly won't be for awhile.. least till I get 'Sold' updated again... Seriously, I mean no harm to anyone. I own nothing. I make nothing. This all done for a cheap giggle and the joy of writing some of my fave wrestlers/characters in awkward situations ;)**

**Also, after Raw (June 21, 2010) I have another 3some in my head. Randy/Adam/Miz (yus, Addy is in the middle cuz he's the prettiest, XP) That segment just left my mouth watering. Damn! The hottness! XD! First it was Miz/Mor/Jeri (Jericho+Miz=Jiz+John Morrison=MorJiz! -Name; mine, and I likes it, so I'm keeping it) now this. I need to stop w/ the threesome equations (not that I will). Esp when they leave Jeffy out.**


	3. You're Only Fucking Mirrors

**Randomly popped in my head one day. LegacyChick, yup. Esha Napoleon, thanks, xD. QueenofYourWorld, Haha, glad you liked my MorJiz equation :) Seraphalexial, aw, glad you enjoyed it, hun. & yeah, guess Mizzie is better than nothing, lol. redsandman99, thank you, XD. JoMoFan-spot, our frustration is one in the same then. Seriously, I just want someone to write more Edge & do his character a bit of justice. I mean Edge is beautiful. & very pretty. I dunno about Jeff being too pretty to top. Jeff still has a touch of rebellion & roughness to him in my eyes. I think he can be vicious & doesn't always have to bottom. At least w/ me writing him anyways.. I have found older fics where Jeff topped Adam. I honestly don't see why some find it so hard to imagine today. Jeff used to be a top or bottom contender, till some authors came in & declared that Jeff had to have a strict bottom role. It irritates me. & I may be a bit frustrated, but I don't feel I am making a mistake by having Edge bottom. Personally I like him that way & I like writing him that way, that's all that matters :) & I honestly can't say enuff how much I appreciate your support for my bottom Addy. I've loved Christian as wise & reasonable before. I've often considered him a 'sweet li'l voice of reason' for this, but I kinda like writing him dorky every once in awhile. It doesn't hurt in a silly fic like this where not everything is serious. & I don't even think I could make myself see Mor as a top. I just prefer him a bottom. I think I agreed somewhere that Edge wasn't getting his manhood back. It's his own fault ;P & I've came around to thinking Jeff is capable of being normal.. but like I said, it's a silly story. Thanks, Love, as always. XXDark CloudXXX chp 1 & 2, thanks. Sheamus can be scary, but I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be, lol. myers1978, chp 1, that tweet gave me such fun, hehe. BellaHickenbottom, yeah, I think I'm right there w/ you on that one :D**

**

* * *

ForShits&Giggles: WWE Random;  
Chapter three / 'You're Only Fucking Mirrors'  
Rated; M/ L (adult situations, talks of naughtiness & sexual depravity, talks of tattooing naughty parts, silliness, M/M kissage, some weird creepiness)**

_(-In the locker room-)_

Matt: (enters locker room) OMG, guys, you'll never believe what I just saw!

Adam: (blinks) A pony?

Jeff: (looks up) A talking popsicle?

Matt: No. And.. (stares at Jeff) no..

Jay: Hornswoggle naked?

Everyone: (looks at Jay)

Jay: (shrugs) What?

Adam: Ew.

Matt: Anyway, no. I saw Cody fucking mirrors.

Jeff: (raises eyebrow) Y'mean like masturbating while looking at himself in a mirror?

Matt: No. I mean literally fucking the mirror. He was all naked and oily and grinding his crotch against the mirror and moaning and stuff.

Adam: (holds head) I could have done w/out that image forever. (dully) Thanks.

Jay: Seriously? That's fucked up.

Jeff: (nods) He's been fucked up since him and Ted broke up.

Matt: I thought he was w/ Drew? (sits down beside Jay)

Jay: No. Drew dumped his ass. I thought he got back w/ Ted?

Jeff: No. Ted dumped his ass for Gold.

Adam: (scratches at hair) Goldust?

Jeff: (snorts) Jesus, no. The Million Dollar Championship. He fucks it and Maryse gets to watch.

Matt: And you know this how?

Jeff: (smirks) The Intercontinental title likes to talk.

Matt: (sighs and reaches over to slap Jeff upside the head)

Jeff: Ow! (scoots chair away) You bitch!

Matt: Can we be serious here?

E&C: (snort)

Jeff: Nope. (smiles happily and relaxes back in his seat)

Jay: It wouldn't be so weird for Ted to fuck the Million Dollar belt.. esp not if Cody's fucking mirrors. He _was_ fucking mirrors, right?

Matt: Yes! I saw it! I can't unsee it!

Jeff: Well, since Ted maybe Cody can't fuck anyone that's not quote (makes quotes) as Dashing as he is (stops quotes) end quote.

Jay: Or maybe Matt was mistaken and Cody wasn't fucking an actual mirror, but rather Dolph Ziggler in his shiny shorts and he just looked like a mirror..

Matt: (shudders)

Jeff: Nah, it'd be less strange if he was fucking a mirror instead.

Adam: Guys, can we get off mirror fuckage? It's making me uncomfortable.

Jay: What? You and Jeff never fuck in front of a mirror before? (is smacked by Matt) Ow! What? Just asking.

Adam: (narrows eyes) Yes, we have. I just would like to not think about Cody fucking a mirror the next time Jeff fucks me in front of a mirror!

Matt: (stands up) This is way too weird.

Jericho: (turns head from kissing Miz long enuff to glare) Yus, it is. If you wouldn't mind, shut up, Junior! (continues lip-locking w/ Miz)

Matt: (looks back into the cubby hole next to the one he's in to see Jericho sitting in Miz's lap with his arms around his neck) How long have they been..?

Jay: It's actually kept them quiet. It's a new record too; exactly 2 seconds before you walked in.

Matt: They? (points at Jiz) Them two? Chris Jericho and Mike Mizanin have been quiet for that long?

Jeff/Adam: (nods) Yup.

Matt: (blinks and shakes head) First Cody fucking mirrors and now the silence of the Wonder Twins. (sits back down) What's next?

Jeff: Me and Adam could get matching tattoos?

Adam: (quirks eyebrow at Jeff)

Jeff: (continues) Adam could get 'Property of Jeff Hardy' on his ass. & I could get 'Adam' right above my dick.

Matt: (chokes on air and starts coughing)

Jay: (slaps Matt on the back) Breathe! Breathe, dammut!

Matt: (gasps and exhales deeply) I'm okay.. okay..

Adam: (folds arms and stares at Jeff) No.

Jeff: Awe, come on. Then when HBK or Cena pantses you out during a house show, everyone will know who you belong to.

Adam: Then why my name above your dick?

Jeff: Hey, it's where your lips and your ass goes. Usually in that order depending on how drunk you are. (smirks)

Adam: (flushes furiously and stammers) I.. uh.. Je.. Ugh.. No.

Jeff: (sits up) Why not?

Adam: I said no, Jeff.

Jeff: For me? (puckers lips and bats eyes cutely)

Jay: (shakes head) That never changes his mind.

Matt: (looks over at Jason) Did you want Adam's name on your dick too?

Jay: (hangs head and pouts) Just the initials.

Matt: (blinks and drops his head into his hands before sighing) Surrounded by idiots..

Jeff: Hey? (points to the cubby hole beside Matt's) Miz and Jericho take serious offense to that!

Chris: (breaks free from Miz to scowl and shake his fist) Watch it, Assclown!

Mike: (also scowls, but hands never leave Jeri's waist) Yeah, Hardy!

Jeff: (giggles) Lighten up, Matthew... Hey, I gotta serious question; If Matthew is supposed to be spelled in all capital letters on your Twitter; then does it have to be screamed when said aloud too?

Matt: (shrugs) Why would it be?

Jeff: Cuz when I read in all capitals that little voice in my head screams too, MATTHEW!

Adam: (covers ears and winces)

Matt: Please, don't scream my name.

Jay: Moan it passionately, like this; (seductively) Matthew (lays head on Matt's shoulder)

Chris: I gotta question, Hardy. (slides off Miz's lap and stands up)

Hardy brothers: (both look up)

Chris: (blinks) The little one.

Jeff: (growls) Hey, I'm not little! Tell him, Addy!

Adam: He's not little. (giggles)

Matt: (facepalm) Too much information. Seriously.

Chris: Anyway.. why are you here? Aren't you on that other show or something?

Jeff: (opens mouth to say something)

Jay: I asked the same thing in the first chapter.

Big Show: (shrugs from leaning against the wall) The writer just likes him here.

Adam: (blinks and looks up at Show in astonishment) How'd you get in here?

Jeff: And how long have you been standing there? (has hand on hip)

Big Show: (shrugs again) I've been hanging out w/ Mysterio. He's been teaching me how to be all mysterious and shit.

Matt: Amazing.

Jay: Creepy.

Jeff: Well, can you kindly leave? And take the Wonder Idiots over there w/ you?

Big Show: (shrugs a third time) Okay. (walks over and picks both Chris and Mike up and tosses them over his shoulders before carrying them out)

Mike: Hey!

Chris: Put us down, Jerky!

Mike: Yeah! We dunno what you think.. (is cut off as door closes behind Show)

Matt: (rubbing hands over face) This has been one weird ass day.

Adam: (sighs) Welcome to my world...

-xx-

_(-In another locker room-)_

Cody: (wearing a black robe now) ... (pops head out of door and looks around suspiciously before popping it back in and locking the door)

Dolph: (in a shiny silver jacket and incredibly small, tight shorts that match) Think anyone saw us? (twiddling thumbs)

Cody: Nah. Just that crazy ass Hardy. No one will believe him.

Dolph: Oh.. (thinks a moment) The big or the small one?

Cody: The one with long hair.

Dolph: Oh.. (thinks another moment) The one fucking Edge or Christian?

Cody: (sighs) Does it matter? They're both crazy and neither one of them are as Dashing (smiles and teeth gleam with a little ding sound) as me or you. Now turn back around and let's get back to what we were doing. (disrobes and turns Dolph back around before gazing into the reflection of his pants) Oh, yeah, baby. (starts grinding on his reflection) You like being a dirty bitch, don't you..?

**

* * *

Yeah, I'm aware it was that stupid. It was supposed to be. I kinda remember someone Tweeting a mock of Cody's song lyrics, only they said 'Oh-oh, you're only fucking mirrors'. There ya go, Cody fucks mirrors.. or well, Dolph Ziggler in tight shiny clothing where he can see himself. (huffs) It was supposed to be that creepy and weird. Really it was just something silly that popped into my head & demanded to be be written. I just put it here but it's just for random silliness. (shrugs) It works.**


End file.
